Left Handed Lay-ups for the Holiday

December 21^st 2009

Have you heard the phrase “the teacher arrives when the student is ready”?

The idea speaks subtly to the magic of timing in one’s life – academically, and beyond. When I look back on a year, or even several decades (easier for me now as I move closer to fifty than forty), I see how that ineffable quality called “timing” keeps mattering.

At our All School Meeting last week our History Department Chair, Bruce Berk, spoke about service, and his timing could not have been better. He spoke directly to a core value at our school, making it accessible to 6^th through 12^th graders, as well as the adults.

“What is the relationship between left-handed lay-ups and generosity?” he asked. He captured my attention instantly - in part because I had been thinking in the previous moment about Derryfield’s basketball teams, the extraordinary good fortune of our community, and the holiday season. He managed to tie my disparate thoughts together, capture the community’s attention, and get us thinking - all at once.

The teacher had arrived and, just a few moments into our meeting, the students were ready to listen.

“You see, left handed lay-ups and generosity are about the same thing,” he continued. “You cannot be good at either unless you practice. And you cannot understand the experience unless you try it and keep doing it. Generosity does not necessarily come naturally, just like left handed lay-ups.”

The Derryfield School continually offers our students opportunities to practice. We require a variety of academic, artistic and athletic experiences so that our students are continually stretching themselves and practicing what may not come naturally at first. From these requirements come one of the most common and uplifting sentiments I hear from parents and students: “I am so pleased my child had to play a sport. She loves field hockey, and would never have known that but for Derryfield.” Or “If I did not have to take Latin in 6^th grade I would have never known how much I love it.”

I believe the time is right for our school to move toward a service requirement for all our students. At present, the majority of our students have a profound, Derryfield-based service experience before graduating, and many describe it as “transformational.” And yet I think of Mr. Berk’s observation – that one must cultivate the habit of service before it becomes integrated into one’s personality, before it has a chance of becoming natural. No doubt creating a requirement has the capacity to diminish the sincerity that comes with making an unfettered choice – but philosophically, I believe our school has arrived at the point where requiring some form of service prior to graduation will detract very little, with enormous potential for a lifetime of value for our students.

I have been heartened by our community’s embrace of our core values exploration this year, and cannot resist the urge to “Aim High” in the realm of service, too. By routinely practicing the generosity of spirit that is at the core of serving others our students will continue to honor their Derryfield education – and their Derryfield education will continue to serve them. My twin hope is that it would be unthinkable for our graduates not to continue to serve others as they grow beyond our campus, and that all our alumni can trace the routes of their passion for service back to the parent/teacher/school relationship that is the hallmark of Derryfield at its most inspiring.

Both Susan Grodman, our Director of Service and Global Education, and I are interested to know what you think about a service requirement at Derryfield. Let us know your stories and your insights.

Enjoy the holiday break – perhaps you will even have a chance to practice your left-handed lay-ups. In any event, may each of us be on the lookout for the transformational teachers in our lives in 2010 and beyond!

CNS

Lamplighter Interview

Questions from Jesse Fortier for the Derryfield Lamplighter

1) What is your favorite part of a day at DS?

You are starting with a hard one – let me just tell you about a bunch of favorite parts.

If I get in before 7:30a, I usually see Mr. Holland at the US Front Desk, and he usually looks up from the newspaper and says good morning. If DS is in a newspaper article or photo, he will tell me, and offer a sentence or two of commentary. It is a brief interaction, but like most simple rituals, it reminds me that the world is in order and that the day has begun with a measure of predictability.

If I get in after 7:30a, I am usually met with Mrs. Wall’s cheery “good morning” and – as I have often told her – that greeting is better than coffee. Her vibrant voice starts the day with an energetic, uplifting trajectory, and makes me smile right from the moment I walk in the door.

If it is a day we have All School Assembly, my favorite part hands-down is standing at the door and greeting or just watching our community go by. I like to see the differences in body language, hear the variety of conversational snippets, and get a broad sense of the mood of our school. I enjoy the creativity, talent and courage on display at Assembly, and I like knowing that Mr. Bouton has created a thoughtful package for our community to experience each week. I enjoy listening to the texture – the quality of the quiet - of our minute of reflection.

Since Thanksgiving the favorite part of my day is helping Mr. Whitmore coach middle school boys basketball. Prior to working with him in this way I had no idea what a talented coach he is, and I have been very impressed with the talent on the team. At the same time, we are having lots of fun. And it gets me up, moving, and burning some calories.

Lastly, the best part of my day is if I am looking forward to a faculty, staff or student party. We don’t do this all the time, but I always love the gatherings – recent examples might be Mr. Barnard’s gathering of seniors for breakfast, the championship soccer team and their parents having a potluck in the evening, the faculty/staff at Shortys before Thanksgiving, or the Holiday party at my house this Friday that will include the family of faculty and staff. I love the laughter, the sense of community, and the implicit understanding that we are very, very fortunate people with a great deal to be thankful for.

2) What is the hardest part of your day?

Another challenging question – I’ll admit I haven’t really thought in terms of “hardest” but one of the things that jumps to mind is often not having time (or forgetting) to eat lunch, which usually makes me sleepy, cranky, or just plain foggy in the early afternoon. This does not happen often, but enough for me (and Mrs Dollard) to know that it is something I need to watch. I think my wife tells people in the Main Office to watch for it, too.

Another hard part could be wanting to spend time with someone who has just “dropped by,” but having a meeting scheduled at the same time. You don’t want to be rude either way - to the person who made the appointment with you, or to the person who had a nice, spontaneous idea or conversation to share in the moment. Most of the time the better, understandable decision is to spend time with the person who made the appointment, but it still echoes with a bit of dissatisfaction when I look back at the day. I also recognize the blessing in the decision, because the larger concern would be if no one wanted to talk with me at all.

3) Does your schedule change on a daily basis?

Pretty much – yes. My school day usually starts between 7 and 7:30a, and goes to about the same time in the evening – unless we have an event at night. For the rest of December the consistent parts will be helping with basketball in the afternoon, but otherwise I have a variety of meetings of different lengths with different purposes throughout the day.

My daughter is going to Shaker Road School in Concord and I am also trying (but, alas, usually failing) to pick her up from school once a week. I really love that car ride for the conversation time that parents talk about – otherwise, living less than two miles from school, there is not a lot of time for connection.

Here are some examples of meetings I will have for the week of December 14^th – Annual Fund Committee; Safety Committee; Governance Committee; School Council Meeting; Executive Committee; Talk with architects about a new administrative building that will replace the Art House; Finance Committee; “Stand Up;” Meeting with Mr. Powell, Mr. Blaisdell and Mrs. Carter.

4) Why do you like your job at DS?

Have you ever had a job that really did not feel like you, or did not align with what you think matters in life? I don’t mean every job you do has to be bursting with profound meaning – by the end of high school, I had been a tennis instructor, a dishwasher, a beach raker, a fast food worker, a ticket-taker at a movie theater, a car mechanic’s apprentice, and probably a bunch of other things I have forgotten. Most of the time I just needed to make money, and I was happy to be doing that. But as I got older, I wanted to do something that felt more connected to things that mattered to me.

At Derryfield I get to spend my days surrounded by people who – and I know this sounds a bit over the top, but it really is the way I think – are heroes to me. Obviously not every person at every moment, but people who spend their life trying to make the world a better place by teaching young people just inspire me. It does not feel at all exaggerated or fake to me – great teachers and great schools changed my life, and I know that dynamic is real. I want to be a part of doing that for someone else, and being at Derryfield gives me that chance.

Anyway, how can you go wrong when you are greeted by Mr. Holland or Mrs Wall each morning?

CNS